*Kiss of Life*

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I don’t care how fattening these delicious treats are. I don’t care when and at what time I get them. All I care about is partying during “Happy Hour” with Starbucks! Not alcohol, not drugs, not clubbing! Just Starbucks is my absolute Heaven! Ask anyone who knows me…I’m not hard to please. Get me a Starbucks, and I just may be your friend for life. Oh and one other thing…since they are half off, why not treat a friend, or the person in line in back of you? Even if it’s not half off, every now and then it’s great to pay it forward!  This is the “KISS of LIFE”  for me…my fix, my life! Share with me… What’s yours?

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Signing off~Uninhibited Ladi ❤

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*To Be or Not to be Mad…*

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Daily Prompt: I can’t stay mad at you.

To Be or Not to Be Mad, that is the Question…? Is it right to hold grudges? Is it wrong? Maybe it depends on the circumstance and what caused you to be mad in the first place. So many people seem to always find one reason or another to be mad at someone, or indeed to stay mad for a long period of time. Some people seek revenge when they are so mad that they let their anger get the best of them. Why does the end result need to come to this?

In my experience, I can recall many times that I got mad and stayed angry for a while because I was wronged. People would betray my friendship (gossiping), backstab me (turn against me behind my back but to my face be extra nice), never follow through with what they said they would, be my friend but only on the surface (when the time came for me to need them, after the many times I was there for them, they would not be there for me like they said they would), try to steal my boyfriends (because they were jealous)…I could go on and on.

Throughout these times, I have thought out of anger that revenge would be sweet victory! I could get back at them and they would never do me wrong again! Of course that’s a natural thought for many people, I’m sure. However, no matter how mean I was to people when I was mad, I never could allow myself to physically seek out revenge. Mentally in my mind I would wish bad on them for doing me wrong, but I would not step over that fine line in the natural. Maybe it was the way I was raised or my morals. “Forgive and forget” is what most of us are taught. I was raised by a few scriptures in the Bible to: “Never let the Sun go down on your anger” (Ephesians 4:26).  In other words: Do not go to sleep while you are still angry. Resolve your issues before the next day. Or “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control” (Proverbs 29:11). While that’s an ideal thought, I can’t say that always works with me. I am one to hold a grudge for a little while longer than a normal person. However I also have learned that negativity and feelings such as being mad, hurt, angry, resentful, etc. tend to cause toxins and poisons in our body. With that being said, I don’t believe it’s a great idea to hold a grudge. The less toxins in my body, the better!

Now I have learned to get mad, get over it quick, forgive, but never forget. If you forget then things in certain situations you were in may happen to you over and over again, but if you don’t forget, at least  you have learned from the lessons and are aware and cautious of not putting yourself in situations that might make you mad. So I have learned to overcome my anger quickly. And lastly I have learned that Karma will take care of everything for you. It is a natural law. What comes around, goes around. So it makes your load a little lighter. At least it does for me.

Signing off~Uninhibited Ladi ❤

 

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*Not what I Expected*

Image                                                                                                                                          Where were you 10 years ago? Can you recall what you were doing and what you wanted from life into how far you’ve come now? Did you have goals or dreams to reach? Did you meet those or fall short? 10 years ago I expected I would be living in Eternal Bliss within a new start! Of course, compared to where I was before, I was thinking life could only get better. Same dreams planned but better opportunities coming my way maybe. My happy Bubble… burst…and then everything was not what I expected.

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To make it clear, we all know that life is not what we ever expect it to be. It can be  better or worse depending on our outlook and how we react to those circumstances. To make a semi-long story somewhat shorter, I will hit on a few main points to start:

1. I grew up with city life both big and small and near the ocean which wasn’t too far away. I lived there most of my life.

2. I have always been more street smart than book smart but have appreciated learning in many areas of studies and have continually craved for more. Although, I have learned a lot of life lessons along the way regardless.

3. My family and I went through some tough times economically for a while, so with their decision to move, my child and I followed them and moved to a new city and state without any choice.

4. Being a single Mom does not always give you tons of options at times, so I had to do what was best for my child and I in the long run. Staying behind with everything we knew was no longer an option. I tried to stay behind but every door closed.

5. Sad story coming but I promise, there is a happier ending soon. Please keep reading if you wish…

I was tired of my old life and what it had become, it wasn’t going anywhere much anyway. But it was also a bittersweet ending in feeling because I was so familiar with the surroundings of my lifestyle and was scared to leave it all in the dust. I had a decent run out there and loved my family and my friends who were like my family. I was constantly busy and living a fast paced life, but I needed a change desperately. I was never truly happy. Always depressed beyond belief. The last few years there was like a minefield waiting to explode. Never the less, I was expecting my new life for the future to be a bed of roses. I was expecting a beautiful shift, as in an overture. You know from the point it comes to a crescendo of a symphony, then moving down a few notches to the soft lull in a relaxed phase of the piece? To bend and flow like sweet melodies to soothe your soul?

YEAH RIGHT! The crescendo stayed and grew louder than ever! Culture shock came because it was not diverse at all and that’s what I was used to, mentalities of people came hurling at me to try and change my point of view because they didn’t understand me, climates changed (hate the snow, driving in it anyway), and relationships in the past faded fast and were gone. Leaving everything and almost everyone behind, with a move that was so quick my head almost flew off, I was in a new place starting over from scratch. The grass was definitely not greener on the other side! We were treated rude from day one. No one welcomed us with open arms. It felt like everything I did was scrutinized and I was being judged about where I came from and why I moved here instead of elsewhere and unless I was giving out a truly ugly vibe which I didn’t think I was, things were just downright horrible. In one way or another life became miserable for us. From the school districts, to jobs, to the neighbors and how snotty and awful they acted, I was at least thinking that family out here would be close, but truth is that they are close in distance but most of them are distant at heart. Still saddened and flustered, I was always facing a crisis of some sort. Not trying to be a victim, but calling it as I saw it. I’ve cheated death twice here already with other things that have come up against me. I’ll save speaking about that for another time though.

I did my best to try to fit in and even change my mentality. Truth be told, living here gave me perspective on my past life which relayed to me that I was somewhat negative in thought and so were a lot of others around me back home. But there were also many circumstances that provoked those ways back then. But I decided for the better to try to change my ways and thoughts and focused on growing at becoming positive. I really worked on that for a while.

Thankfully throughout the years I became more book smart and decided to continue my college education further. People here are plenty book smart which is great. They have great jobs and a good family life. For some though, their smarts are to the point of stupidity. Not trying to be negative, haha, but truthfully they don’t use their common sense. C’mon people, seriously?! They don’t even know what being street smart really is, so I haven’t used it because I don’t need it. Anyhow back to my story…I had good jobs, but being on the same page with co-workers was impossible. We just have never seen eye to eye and also they already had their circle of friends so they remained closed off. I did luckily meet a couple of people who became my friends as I was in college who were actually open shockingly enough. Yet I longed for the times when I had those relationships back home and yearned to connect to that here. While my child and I were going through all of these hard times, it happened with her too… few people from home kept in touch which also frazzled me. Yet we stayed friendly and outgoing and went out of our way for people here regardless and I’m glad we did.

Just as I thought things were getting better… Illness hit my child. It happened shortly after we moved, and then it progressed. So I was grateful I still had some help from my immediate family. As the years passed the sickness became stable and still there but yet improved. Then a few years ago I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. It hit me full force then. I knew I had it back home but it was never full blown or treated before, here. Only to experience a few months later a chronic longterm autoimmune Illness striking me, out of nowhere. At one point we were seeing 6 doctors at once, 3 each for a few months. I thought I would lose my mind with Dr.’s appointments, full time school for both of us and full time work for me. Honestly I don’t know how I survived! I am so lucky I didn’t end up dead from all the stress, anxiety, depression and issues. Only God’s help and the Universe rearranging life for us, I believe, is what helped me through.

As for the present time…All of my expectations for a fabulous life here went down the drain! One thing I do know for sure though after all that has transfigured here, is that this is not the place for my teen and I. After 10 years you think something in you would have changed your mind to assume you can begin calling this place home, but I still feel like a fish out of water. We don’t belong here. Although… there is a reason why we are here. Not sure what exactly that reason is or how long that reason will take to be shown to me and my teen but I do believe everything happens for a reason. I am still learning to cope with life in various ways and helping my teen grasp what life holds here until it’s time to move on. I know that hardships must come like a storm before the pot of gold shows up at the end of the promised rainbow. In order for us to get to that place in life where we need to be at, to have the life we always wanted, we must conquer our mountains and climb to the horizon to see the Sunrise.                                                                Image

The one thing I never expected out these experiences was that somehow my dreams have changed. I have learned to not have such high and crazy expectations and go with the flow to start new. I am changing what I expect in a different concept now and yearn only for the good things in life yet learning how to accept whatever comes our way. Knowing the Universe will bring them to pass in due time no matter what we go through. I am Aspiring to Inspire people before my life expires with anything I now do. And if we (my teen and I) can get through anything, so can you. We are not alone. You are not alone. And neither our our expectations.

Signing off~Uninhibited Ladi ❤

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*Titles/Tag Lines*

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Thinking about tag lines and branding makes you really wonder who you are and what part of yourself you want to represent to the world. What part of the world you came from could be what you show and bring forth to the table. What your upbringing is or was, what you want to be, what you consider yourself as, or who others believe you are…so you become that person.

There are so many various types of people and whenever you think of someone, words start pouring into your mind of who you identify them to be. Oh the “Loud Obnoxious Gal”, the “Quiet and Introverted” guy over there, “The Hipster Chick”, “The Rocker Dude”, or the “Hip Hop Mogul wanna be”. Everyone is someone or something that is tagged and labeled.

In the past, at times this used to rub me the wrong way. People would look at me and place various “Jackets” (Labels) on me. I was known as the “R&B Worship Singer Leader” (which I hated R&B by the way, I liked Jazz and Soulful House music), the “Young Hip Single Mom” (always Single), the “Encourager” (always helping others and lifting them up when they’re down), the “Creative & Rhyming Diva” (artsy and rhyming in convo’s), and more recently the “Introvert & Uninhibited Ladi” (completely changed and quiet but still speak my mind when I need to). Do you see a pattern? You see how there is two sides to everyone, maybe three or four, even more?

As I have grown older and experienced more, I have learned not to let such petty labels bother me or get me down if it’s something I tend to disagree with. Everyone sees people differently and will probably always label others whether they intend to or not. It is part of life and much of what we see is automatically sent to our brain to label an image and give it a name the way we see fit. So as I learn to watch the world grow I imagine where I am going in life and what I want out of life.

As I stated in my last blog about speaking our voice…since today is “World voice day”, I am branding on this blog who I am or will be. My Brand/Title: *Someone who speaks her mind (uninhibited), a world renown speaker, an author, one who is reserved yet compassionate, is kind and passionate about reaching out to help Single Moms around the world and help change lives*. How I will get there and how it will come to pass, only the Universe knows. I can’t wait for the days that I reach these goals. I am creative and artsy, and will integrate those ideas somehow into helping others.

My Tagline: *Reaching the Nations & Hurting Generations… one step at a time*. 

Signing off~Uninhibited Ladi ❤

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*Introduce Yourself*

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Today is April 15th and tomorrow is “World Voice Day”, on the 16th. So I figured why not get a head start on introducing my voice today? I am doing the 30 day 101 challenge on blogging. My first challenge today is to introduce myself. So here it goes…

The whole reason why I chose to blog publicly is to be a voice for myself and others who cannot speak up, share my opinions, and connect with others. When I blog personally, there is no feedback or people to discuss with. So I decided that blogging publicly is a great way to feel alive and connect. The main topic that I desire to write about or reach out for here is for Single Moms with Children and teens. Although, from time to time there may be topics posted here varying from thoughts on architecture, art, artists, books, celebrities, coffee, creativity, current events, design, health, humanity, family, music, musicians, poetry, nature, the ocean, relationships, social networking, etc…which are also things that interest me.

The main goal throughout this blogging journey is to be 100% true to myself on addressing any topics by being “Uninhibited” with my thoughts and expressions. When connecting with others I am allowing them to be Uninhibited with me with their thoughts and opinions and sharing back. This is why I chose the name “Uninhibited Ladi”. I feel too many people hold back now days. I want my page to be a place where people are welcome to my site as if entering into my home for the first time where you can be yourself and not have to hold back who you are or who you dream of wanting to be. You can reach me here through the comments section or email me @ nations_healer@yahoo.com regarding Single Moms and children. Let’s sit back and enjoy a mocha, green tea or whatever your drink of the day may be and join this journey of life together!

Signing off~ Uninhibited Ladi ❤

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*Open Book and the Real You*

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Are you an Open book? Lately I have been coming across a few blogs which talk about whether or not the internet is a place to show the real you or a semi-open version of you. This makes me wonder what identity people are actually showing to the open circuit out here on the net. Is it the real them or a lighter-weighted version of them? Could it be a completely make believe version of them altogether?

Now days there are so many ways and concepts (i.e. blogs, social networks, email, etc.) for people to create false identities. Like the show on MTV’s “Catfish” for instance, you can become a completely different persona. Why do people feel the need to do it? Is it like when you are a child and you play in your own enchanted fairytale land? Is it to keep life interesting because your real life is so extremely boring? Is it for the thrill of the chase or is it a place where you feel comfort at a safe distance hiding away from the world, the real true you?!

Then again, there are so many thoughts about whether the internet is really safe and if sharing who you truly are is what you need to be doing. Yes, there is a point in being smart and keeping your personal details of your identity private on some sites, especially when social networking. So the effort in creating an email specifically for those social sites are smart, but choosing what info you’d like to share is your prerogative. This brings me to my point of blog sharing and writing. How much is too much of an open book or how much is too little? I am new to this world of blogging and am excited in continuing on in this journey with others. I am looking forward to exploring new perspectives on life and feedback from others. For me, I think that if you are not sharing your true thoughts you are just hiding the real you. If you get ridiculed, so what? Those are your opinions. If you are harshly judged because your opinions are not that of others, who cares? No one has to be alike, that’s what makes us unique. If you are accused of not being sympathetic or sensitive enough with your words, and you really care about not offending your audience, then be considerate and change your tone trying a different approach. As long as it portrays the real you.

Sharing about what you think and who you are, about what you care about and want others to care about is challenging. But with that being said, I am choosing to be an open book. I desire others to know the real me and my thoughts, ideas, and many perspectives on life. I don’t want to be fake or a closed book to the world of social sites and blogging. I have been a closed book most of my life. Like on a beach I have tiptoed on the sand never actually allowing my feet to dig deep and sink into the grains with the water soaking into my skin and up to my soul. I thought I did, but never realized up until now that I hadn’t. Like the water flowing through waves rushing into the sand on the shore and rolling out leaving the sand damp with moisture, so too will I leave blank pages of a book open creating my writing, moist with thoughts and knowledge of the real me. Next weekend at the beach I am literally going to try this. Will you be an open book of the real you?

Signing off~Uninhibited Ladi ❤

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*Drowning*

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*Drowning*

Swirling in a sea of emotions

Drowning in a hopeless gulf stream

My senses heightened, exhausted

I fear I am jolting like lightning towards the tides

Tumbling towards invisibility

Sight unseen as in the Bermuda Triangle

Unable to move or breathe

As the searing pain envelops me

In the black of the abyss

No fight is left within

Overwhelmed as sound is stifled

I yearn to lay silent and drift

As the golden streams of tears

Rush through my blood

A weighted heart is pulsing slow

Yet I awake from the pounding roar

My head rolls and eyes sore

Day after day, again and again,

Again and again I go there once more

~Uninhibited Ladi*

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